A piece of mind

Blueberry lemon pound cake 

So blueberries were on sale this week so that’s my excuse for eating them everyday. I decided to make a blueberry lemon pound cake, I lightened it up by using margarine instead of butter, organic cane sugar, fresh lemon juice, whole grain baking flour, and lots of blueberries. There’s something about blueberries and lemon together that is the perfect combination the sweet and tart are such a great compliment to each other. Why did I make a blueberry lemon cake in February? It’s raining, cold, and dreary outside and I am beyond over this weather. Blueberry and lemon remind me of crisp warm sunny days and that’s what I’m dreaming about. So as I bite into this I can think about the sun shining and the warm wind and fresh flavors. For the recipe  

1 stick of Margarine- 1/2 cup 

3/4 cup of organic cane sugar 

3 eggs 

Teaspoon of vanilla extract 

Juice of one lemon 

Teaspoon of lemon zest 

1 and 1/2 cup of whole grain organic flour 

1/2 teaspoon of baking powder 

1 cup of blueberries 
Whip your margarine and sugar together, then slowly whip the eggs, don’t over mix or your cake will become thick rather than light and fluffy. Mix in the rest of the ingredients, I didn’t have a bread pan so I used a bunt cake dish spray with non stick spray and bake for 50-60 minutes and 70-75 minutes if using a bread pan. Enjoy ! 🍋 


Banana bread pancakes 

🎤Maybe we can sleep in

Make you banana pancakes

Pretend like it’s the weekend now🎤 

 I really hope you sang that as you read it, because I sang banana pancakes by Jack Johnson while making these hehe. We are Preparing to shovel our cars out today so I made hearty whole grain banana bread pancakes and French toast for my man. Dessert for breakfast is a must on Sunday’s or any day really. If you haven’t tried  yet, I suggest you do. 100% whole grains and filled with flavor. You can use this mix for so many things, they even have a ton of recipes on their website which I can’t wait to try all of them! You’re also doing a good deed when you purchase their products because part of the sales goes to grizzly bear and wildlife conservation. Yay for animals and pancakes 🐻🌲🌳. Anyway to make these decadent pillows of pancakes you will need 

🍌 1 banana 

🍌 1 cup of @kodiakcakes mix 

🍌 1 cup of vanilla @califiafarms almond milk ( you can use water but I think almond milk adds a nice flavor) 

🍌1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract 

🍌 teaspoon of cinnamon 

🍌 teaspoon of brown sugar 

🍌 tablespoon (or more if you like) of chopped walnuts 


Mix all of your ingredients, put em on your griddle or pans, sing banana pancakes, top with  syrup and bananas and walnuts and enjoy every last bite!

Chicken Apple Sausage Breakfast Sammy 

I’m sure you’ve seen the commercials for Dunkin donuts chicken Apple sausage sandwich. It sounded SO good to me, so I took it upon myself to recreate it at home. 

In my opinion, Dunkin donuts “eggs” really freak me out. They’re such an odd texture and they even look fake. 

You gotta admit, there’s nothing like a REAL egg with a nice runny yolk. You don’t get that with Dunkin. 

This sandwich was super easy to make. You will need the following 

1 package of chicken Apple sausage, I used an organic all natural brand I found at whole foods. 

Your choice of bread, I used a whole grain bagel thin 

1 slice of cheddar cheese 

1 egg cooked how you like it, mine was sunny side up 

Cook and assemble. Really simple. Enjoy 😍🍳🧀

On Loving an Addict

addiction.jpgThose of you who have an addict in the family, as your friend, or significant other can relate. It’s so hard to love someone with an addiction and not let it bring you down and mess you up. You’re always waiting for a phone call, a text, day in and day out,  that they’re back in the hospital, jail, they’ve overdosed, they need money, a ride, a place to stay, anything. You can love an addict, you can try and save them, but you can’t save them. They destroy you. Even if they don’t mean to, they can and they will.

Nothing will mess with you more than loving an addict. You saw the person they used to be before the addiction, before the mess. You love that person you once knew. You will want that back each and everyday. You will try to help them, do everything in your power to stop their addiction. But let me tell you this, you can’t help someone who doesn’t want the help.

They will blame you for certain things, they will blame everyone else but themselves for their addiction. (until they come to realize it’s them with the addiction and no one’s fault but their own) This will mess with your head. You will think all of these thoughts in your head, “what did I say?” “what did I do?” “what could have I done?” “If I said something different, they wouldn’t  have used again” “It’s my fault”. These thoughts will keep you up at night. They will haunt you.

It’s not your fault, remember that. Don’t blame yourself, no one makes someone an addict besides themselves. The more you reach out, the more you try and help the more painful it becomes. The pain of knowing you can’t take their pain away, you can’t make them stop being an addict. That pain of knowing you may never get the person you once knew back.

The immense fear you feel on the regular has almost become part of your personality.Whether it’s fear of them overdosing, fear of them losing a job, fear of them lashing out and abusing you, fear of them getting involved in the wrong place at the wrong time, fear of them never changing. There’s always a constant fear of something.

With fear comes worry, worry of how you’re going to explain to whoever about their addiction and worry you may not have an excuse. Growing up with an addict I was always worried the kids in dance class or school would find out that my father was an addict. I always worried when I would get called down to the office for pick up unannounced because my dad was in jail or he was in the hospital. That worry going to school the next day and getting made fun of or asked questions because your neighbors saw your family arguing and police cars in front of the house. That worry when you don’t hear from them in a long time;  the only thoughts in your head are where are they, are they dead, do they even care about me anymore, are they ever coming back? That worry when they’re in the hospital because of an overdose, or they’re going through withdrawal. That worry you’re going to get hit, that worry that there’s going to be an argument when you get home, that worry that you may never see your parents again and be taken away by child services. The worry that you won’t have a ride home from dance or sports because your dad used again and forgot about you. The worry they will get in a car and get into an accident and hurt themselves or someone else. The worry that they will hurt themselves.  The list goes on and on. The worry goes on and on.

You constantly find yourself on edge, on guard. You find yourself looking for all the signs, are they slurring their words, are they stumbling, are they passed out, etc. You find yourself waking up in the middle of the night to check if they’re still breathing and have a pulse. You find yourself to be a part time investigator. Snooping through their stuff, checking all their hiding places. You make yourself crazy. But you’re not, you know its all happening again. You know the signs when you see them.

You know what it’s like to be lied to right to your face, but you can’t find the energy to fight back. You know you want to help them so bad and get frustrated when they just won’t listen. You know what it’s like to lose someone standing right in front of you. You know what it’s like to miss someone who is always there. You know what it’s like to be just so lost in your own head and think why, to be confused all the time because you see the person they could be, the person they used to be. You know how it feels to be functioning in everyday life but mentally you’re not even there. You know what it’s like to put your life on hold to help them. You know what it’s like to make up excuses as to why you’re crying or why you have bags under your eyes because you haven’t slept. You know what it’s like to put every bit of energy to keep the person you love out of harms way.You know what it’s like to research every possible answer, every rehab, every program, anything and not find answers you’re looking for.You know what it’s like to become so frustrated at them because they will never understand. You know what it’s like to cry yourself to sleep at night and force yourself to go to work or to go to school. You know what it’s like to have your phone glued to your hip because you’re always waiting for “That call”.

Sometimes you find yourself wishing the worst, for it to be over, for it to stop. For everything to just end because you can’t physically and emotionally take it anymore. You think about what it would be like if none of this happened to you. You feel angry, sad, frustrated, and exhausted all at the same time.

You know what it’s like to argue with everyone in your family or with friends about what to do and what is best for them. You feel like you’re going to explode when someone tells you addiction isn’t a disease. You know what it’s like to be known as “the child of an addict”, “the parent of an addict”, “the spouse of an addict” “the friend of an addict”. You know addiction all too well for someone who isn’t an addict.

You know what it’s like to try and figure out what’s enabling and what’s helping them. You know what the weight of the world feels like and you’re wondering if you can even carry it around anymore.

You know what it’s like to care too much, to want to have that person you once knew back, and that can destroy you.





Banana Bread Chia Seed Pudding 

Continuing my chia seed obsession this week with banana bread chia seed pudding. I love banana bread it’s just so comforting and flavorful. Cinnamon, bananas, nuts it’s the perfect combination. 

You will need 

1/4 cup of chia seeds 

1 banana 

1 teaspoon of cinnamon 

1 cup of almond milk (I used vanilla) 

Handful of chopped walnuts

1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract 

1/2 teaspoon of maple syrup

Dash of nutmeg, set overnight in the fridge and grab and go in the morning ! 

Almond Joy Chia Seed Pudding 


Dessert for breakfast, uhm yes pleaseeeee. Almond joy chia seed pudding. I kinda went on a chia seed pudding spree with my meal prep this week to try out some new flavor combos. I don’t know about you, but almond joys are one of my favorite candy bars. There’s just something about a bed of coconut draped in chocolate with an almond crunch. Yummm. So here is my recipe I have come up with for today’s chia pudding. 


  • 1 container of your choice coconut Greek yogurt (can use coconut yogurt to make dairy free) 
  • 1/4 cup of chia seeds 
  • 1 cup of vanilla almond milk 
  • 1/4 teaspoon of almond extract (be careful with this as it has a very strong flavor and you only need a dash) 
  • 2-3 tablespoons of unsweetened dark organic cocoa powder, feel free to use regular cocoa, I just love dark chocolate 
  • 2 tablespoons of shredded unsweetened organic coconut 
  • Sprinkle of almonds and cocoa nibs 
  • Set it in the fridge overnight for a great grab and go breakfast